Shirley Tan Deportation Delayed
Congresswoman Jackie Speier (D-CA-12) successfully reached out to immigration officials and asked to delay the deportation of Shirley Tan so she can assemble more facts on Shirley’s case.
While this action will delay Shirley’s deportation for a few weeks, passage of the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) will be necessary to ensure that Jaylynn “Jay” Mercado and Shirley can keep their family intact in their home in Pacifica, CA.
Immigration Equality commends Congresswoman Speier’s support for the right of Shirley and Jay and their children to stay together, as well as her support for the rights of thousands of binational lesbian and gay couples nationwide through her cosponsorship of UAFA.
This is wonderful news!
Comment by Inlookout — April 2, 2009 @ 7:51 pm
This is great news! Let’s hope Congresswoman Speier’s office can help keep her for good. We should try to get Shirley and Jay and their children on Larry King on CNN to tell their story:
http://www.cnn.com/feedback/forms/form5.lkl.comment.html?12
NOW is the time to hammer our Representatives and Senators about this issue and push them to support UAFA! As has been posted on this blog before, many of the co-sponsors that signed on in the last Congress have not signed on yet in 2009. We need to bring them over ASAP. We also have members of the LGBT Congressional Caucus that have not signed on – even though UAFA is listed on their site. Even if your Representative or Senator(s) has signed on, you can still call others! I spoke with a Legislative Aide today from a Rep. who was not a co-sponsor in the last Congress but had a favorable rating from HRC. When I explained the bill briefly to the Aide, she said the Rep. would â��Definitely sign on to this. Iâ��ll pull the bill now. The Congressmanâ��s brother is gay and he understands these issues and life.â��
If anyone has ANY questions about how to do this, please e-mail me. westirish914@gmail.com
Comment by West Irish — April 2, 2009 @ 7:56 pm
I don’t live in CA., and can’t really say this. But can we organize some sort of candle light protest or demonstration in Shirley’s town or the State House of CA to show our support and demand. Let the local news know about that and even 50 people can make a statement.
Comment by Walkins — April 2, 2009 @ 8:28 pm
How can we get this story out on NPR??
Comment by Mike — April 2, 2009 @ 8:35 pm
I don’t live in CA, and can’t really suggest this, but can we have some sort of protest, candle light march, … around Shirley’s town and the State House? We need to show our support, even a few people. If we call and let the local news knows they might report it.
Comment by Mike — April 2, 2009 @ 8:38 pm
Mike
I really think we all should get together protest, candle light march etc to let the world know about this story and all of the bi-national people in U.S should do the same things. We really can’t wait any longer.
I really believe that this year has been bit different when it comes UAFA.
I think this Shirley situation, story has awaken us up and a big chance for us to let the world know about the unfairness of gay and lesbian immigration system in U.S.
People back then really fought for their rights.
Sometimes we have no choice but take the risk and do ultimate way to get what we want!
I have noticed that the number of comments here have increased more and more for the past weeks and that’s great but I believe there are at least 36,000 gay and lesbian Americans who are affected by this discrimination right?. So where are all the people?
Don’t think “yeah someone will write a letter, someone will call the congress”
That’s not the way to handle this problem. We have wasted almost 8 years just waiting. We really need to push it much harder to pass this bill this year otherwise we’ll have to wait for another years and years.
If we all got together to do something just to be heard, I think we can be heard somehow.
I have spoken about UAFA with at least 15 gay and lesbian people, co-workers and friends but so far, unfortunately only 1 person knew about the bill.
I really believe there needs to more national publicity to help get the word out regarding the UAFA. That should include story coverage by media celebrities, political commentators Logo channel etc I know some people have already emailed Ellen but has she ever said anything about it on her show? How about The view, Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow? What about the support from gay communities? I’m sorry I don’t wanna be negative but I feel kind of hopeless once again.
Comment by ken — April 2, 2009 @ 9:07 pm
We need to say ‘Thank You’ to Jackie Speier, for her helps to Shirley and Jay.
Comment by Caeton — April 2, 2009 @ 9:14 pm
This is such a great news for Shirley and Jay’s family. I am really grateful of the swift action taken by Congresswoman Jackie Speier. I agree with Caeton that we need to thank Congresswoman Speier for her continuing support and her help to keep the family together. And also her support for the UAFA! I am feeling hopeful now that Shirley’s case has brought people’s attention to the discrimination against LGBT community on immigration. Let’s keep doing our part to get the bill to pass!
Comment by Simon M — April 2, 2009 @ 9:23 pm
I just emailed Margaret Cho about this story.
Please people email her too Please!
More emails she gets, she has a chance to read them.
As we all know she’s been supporting gay communities and issues and she won’t play the game!!
Here is the link http://www.margaretcho.com/contact/contact.htm
Comment by k — April 2, 2009 @ 9:33 pm
Now is the time to turn up the heat and see if we can’t use this perfect storm for our benefit. Lets all call, write, and fax our Representatives in Washington D.C. and ask them to please put this unfair denial of our Civil Right to bed once and for all. I think it still says with liberty and justice for ALL. Yesterday was when the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) should have been passed, But tomorrow will be fine with me.
Comment by SeaMex — April 3, 2009 @ 12:23 am
Shirley’s story is starting to get attention. Lets ride this wave.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2009/04/03/MNSF16QV9B.DTL
Comment by nola — April 3, 2009 @ 7:47 am
With all of the interest in the Shirley Tan story, is anyone checking the UAFA cosponsors? We got 2 more. Up to 95 cosponsors now.
Comment by nola — April 3, 2009 @ 8:28 am
“Iowa says gay marriage ban is unconstitutional” from NY Times story: http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/04/03/us/AP-Iowa-GayMarriage.html?_r=2
Comment by bkbzipper — April 3, 2009 @ 9:05 am
Let’s keep the ball rolling, and comment everywhere you can think of for UAFA passage! Does anyone have a link to senators fax numbers? I’ve tried calling and it just keeps ringing. Also, don’t forget to thank those who are already cosponsors. Let’s put some effort into getting Shirley and Jay’s family a happy ending, as well as the rest of us!
Comment by bkbzipper — April 3, 2009 @ 9:09 am
95 cosponsors in the House now and Iowa’s Supreme Court ruling in favour of gay marriage!
The only downer to this excellent news is that Vermont only got 95 votes in the House, just short of the 100 required to be safe against a veto by the Republican Governour. That said, Iowa’s decision is almost certan to have ramifications across the country. Take heart from this, folks! 
Comment by Tim — April 3, 2009 @ 11:00 am
We have won this battle but not the war!! Lets keep writing and sending out stories so that we have more sponsors by the end of the month. I have already asked for an appointment with my congresswoman so I am hoping to have another Fl rep on the board.
Comment by Concerned citizen — April 3, 2009 @ 11:02 am
What an excellent opportunity for this country to prove to the whole world that not only is it the most powerfull, but also understands the word MERCY…
Comment by Martin and Minna — April 3, 2009 @ 12:10 pm
We are in a catch 22 situation. Calling senators and writing to your congressmen are still not enough. We need gay leadership, you really think if we just keep writing and calling the numbers will eventually make UAFA have more polictical exposure?? Not really. Have we ever seen any protests and demonstrations since Nadler introduced UAFA to Congress and senate? No. Folks, wake up, I know you guys are trying so hard, but we have to probably go on the streets and be very persisient. One of the problems in the gay community is the lack of leadership and persistence. When Prop 8 passed, I remember, gay and lesibian community got together and protested, yeah, we heard touching speeches, and yeah, we displayed our anger, but how long did it last???? It lasted for no more then 3 weeks. You think we have gained enough support and sympathy from the public??? Absolutely not. Prop 8 is only affects gay Americans. Gay Ameicans do not have the same problems we do regardling the immigration, but I guess I have to understand the hesistence of the binational gay communinity to step out for the rallies and protests because it is the fear of being deported, being torn apart by the Federal Government, and that is what happened with Shirtly Tan’s family, they proudly registered to be a married couple, they hire lawyers, they went through Federal hearings, and now, she is facing departation. Tan’s family is punished by the federal government for being honest and trying. It is horrendously awful and unfair. It doesn’t matter if Tan’s has been here for 30 years, the Federal goverment doesn’t have, they don’t have any sympathy, they can just deport you right away, and it doesn’t matter how many years and centuries Tan has been here. She is gay, and she is discriminated against by the government. To end all this atrocity, we need gay leadership to take us to the street, and gain public attention through protests and rallies. Maybe our next step is make American gay community aware of our situations, and of course, at the same time organizing rallies to gain attention from the public, but the problem is, many of us are probabably illegal, and we are afraid of coming out and protesting due to our illegal status, so how do we overcome that?????? I would say gain the support and make the American gay community aware of our problems, and come together as a group first, and of course, we will keep writing and calling our congressmen and senators. We have to do something about it, if not, this bill will just keep dying in the commitee just like the past 8 years.
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 3, 2009 @ 1:29 pm
I think NOW is the time to act! I have been sending e-mails to Tyra Banks since she is a supported of the LGTB community and she takes her topics on her show very seriously. I really believe that if most American knew and understood how American Immigration Laws work, there would be an OUTRAGE because of the inherently discriminatory nature of it! Anyway, let’s work together not only to help this unfortunate family but EVERYBODY facing such callous treatment!
Comment by Harrison — April 3, 2009 @ 1:41 pm
Before I forget. Let’s not be “Debbie Downers” PLEASE! I know the struggle is tiredsome and exhausting, but we are NOT here “licking our wounds”; we are organizing ourselves to become more efficient. Gay marriage advancement and ANY improvement on discriminatory laws such as the HIV ban,DADT and Immigration Law are possitive things to us and we need to come together to fight the good fight. I am feeling very hopeful that a new time will soon come…let’s be patient.
Comment by Harrison — April 3, 2009 @ 1:46 pm
I wanted to let everyone know that the SFGate did a story about Shirley tan and there are over 251 comments about what others think. Now not all the comments are good but I know I am doing my part to try to share to others why it the UAFA is very important. The article can be found on http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/04/02/MNSF16QV9B.DTL
Lets keep educating people. This story has brought us to the forefront.
Comment by Concerned citizen — April 3, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
Just wanted to add what pleases me most about the Iowa Supreme Court’s decision most was that it was a UNANIMOUS decision – it’s a development beyond my wildest dreams. I strongly suggest everyone read their statements because some of their argumentation could be applied to UAFA and to counter the likely arguments from the Right.
http://www.kcci.com/download/2009/0403/19084885.pdf
For example, it can be argued that the exclusion of LGBT couples from immigration sponsoring does not benefit straight couples or society in any way. This is just one of the many points we have to raise with the more conservative Democratic senators and representatives. Don’t forget that in order to secure a two-third majority, we would have to get ALL Democrat Senators on board.
I was also pleased to learn that the Hate Crimes Bill has been reintroduced in Congress today. With Shirley Tan getting a lifeline today, it’s been a good week for us but we have to keep marching on.
Comment by Tim — April 3, 2009 @ 2:37 pm
@ Concerned Citizen, thanks for the link to the SF Gate article. I signed up and this is what I posted:
“It is important to remember the following when discussing the Uniting American Families Act bill: If UAFA becomes law, it would apply the same rigorous checks to LGBT couples as the current immigration law does with heterosexual couples. To give LGBT couples full immigration equality is not going to have any bearing on how heterosexual couples lead their lives, and the punishment for relationship frauds in order to gain a visa etc will be just as hard for same sex couples as it is for straight couples. There is no evidence to suggest that LGBT couples are more likely to exploit this law than straight couples. The current denial of federal recognition of binational LGBT couples means that we are not equally protected by the law and that any LGBT US citizen in a binational relationship has to face a cruel choice between their partner and their country in the long run. This is not a special rights bill but a civil rights bill that ensures fairness towards everyone.”
Comment by Tim — April 3, 2009 @ 3:05 pm
Also good about the Iowa ruling are: (1) any constitutional amendment to override the court’s decision must wait at least until 2012; (2) Iowa has no residency requirement for issuing marriage licenses; (3) it may influence the pending marriage legislation in NH and VT.
Comment by Rick — April 3, 2009 @ 3:09 pm
@ Rick, it might even influence proceedings in California in our favour but that’s probably hoping for too much. That said, I’m convinced that it has made it at least a lot more likely that marriages approved prior to Prop 8 will be allowed to stand. Btw, didn’t know about point (2); that’s interesting. They’re more flexible than Massachusetts in that respect if I recall correctly.
Back on topic: I’ve urged IE members on facebook to keep writing to those four or five Democrat members on the House Judiciary Committee who haven’t signed up yet, and that includes Diane Feinstein. If we get this bill to a floor vote anytime soon, anything is possible!
Comment by Tim — April 3, 2009 @ 3:37 pm
Yes, Diane Feinstein must be further educated. My partner will call her offices. (I have called and emailed by myself).
Comment by Rick — April 3, 2009 @ 3:55 pm
I have written many times to the celebrities, the media, and called my representatives. Well, the representatives (the staff I talked to)did not know anything about this bill, the media (even the gay local newspapers) never responded, and the celebrities …..
I really think that we should do candle light march or protests. It’s an easy way to get our words out and let them know that we are here.
Comment by Simon — April 3, 2009 @ 3:56 pm
I just read the comments on Shirly Tan’s case on the webiste of SF Chronicles. It is truely sad and disturbing to see the amount of negative comments on the site. I’ve read about 80 comments so far, and about over 60 of them are negative. The majority of the bloggers there think this case is not an issue of gay and lesibian right, it is the case of illegal immigration. There are so many posts that are so nasty, ignorant, and insensitive to the issue. Those bloogers might reflect the majority of the public’s view on a case like Tan’s family. Those bloggers obviously read about the case through the newspaper or the internet, so you can’t really say they are uneducated or oblivious to what’s going on in our society. Can you imagine their view and comments of other people who don’t read newspapers or log on to the internet? They will probably worse than those bloggers. A lot of bloggers think Tan should be deported now because “They don’t have the rights to be here to being with, so they should’ve rethought the idea of forming a family knowing they might face the consequences of deportation” without taking the fact that if they were heterosexual, none of this would hava happened. In other words, they are almost saying or indicating that gay people’s relationships are not real relationships, they are just friendships,,and of course, we all know that kind of mentality is ignorant, biased and bigoted. On the other hand, one of the reasons that generated so many negative comments is due to Tan’s family’s photo. Tan’s partner looks like a man, and that surely turns a lot of people off and arouse a whole bunch of derogatory remarks about Tan’s family. I am not saying Jay should be dressed to please the public to gain sympathy from the public, but to be honest, the regular, and ignorant heterosexuals could be turn off by an image like that because Tan’s family actually looks like a typical, heterosexaul family. A lot of ignorant posters there actually questioned Jay’s gender, they thought Jay was a man, so some of them were commenting that if Jay wanted to be a man, why not do a sex change, get married with Tan, so she could be legally staying. Now, with that being said, we know those comments are ignorant, but sometimes, I think we need to present postive images when we are presenting ourselves as gay community. No offense to the Tan familiy, the heterosexual world might view Tan’s wife as a “bull dyke” and subsequently gets turned off by that kind of image. I am not saying there is anything wrong with Jay’s presentation in the photo, but I do belive that kind of photo might not help getting symapthy and support from heterosexually dominated and ignorant society because they almost look like a typical heterosexual family as opposed to a GAY family.
Anyway, long story short. Our gay community is not perfect either, we are lack of leadership and consistency, and I am telling you. The heterosexaul world is going to continue being biased against us, and I can guarantee you that a lot of congressmen or senators have the same views as the ignorant heterosexuals who just think being gay is wrong, such as Linsey Gram or Michelle Bachman, or most Republicans. We need to target the senators and congresmen, and at the same time, presenting and educating the norma that gay people also hurt love and want to be their lovers in this great country. I must say i feel kind of hopeless after reading those comments because I have a bad feeling a lot of heterosexual folks out there do not understand us ,nor do they care, and a lot of them also hate us. It is going to be a long fight, and not easy one. We are outnumbered by the soceity and the fiercely heterosexual world. UAFA needs to be passed, but we will have to go on the streets bravely or else, it doesn’t matter who the President is, UAFA could keep dying in the commitee just like the past 8 years if we don’t get our acts together.
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 3, 2009 @ 9:13 pm
Yes, I feel bad to read the negative comment to us, they don’t understand the hardship to the bi-national couples. They thought we want to immigrate to US through a relationship with a same sex partner.
Comment by Caeton — April 3, 2009 @ 9:47 pm
There are a lot of obsticles out there in public. But the the important thing for now is to persuade those congressmen and senators. They are the targets obviously. Let’s get it to the Judiciary Commitee first
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 3, 2009 @ 10:05 pm
My partner got the letter from Barbar Boxer, she wrote:
Dear Friend:
Thank you for writing to me regarding the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA). I appreciate hearing from you, and I share your strong support for this bill.
I am proud to be an original co-sponsor of the UAFA, which Senator Patrick Leahy introduced in the Senate as S.424 on February 12, 2009. This bill would amend immigration law to extend the same benefits to permanent partners as are currently afforded legally married couples under the Immigration and Naturalization Act. Americans in same-sex relationships would thereby be able to sponsor their partners for legal residency in the United States.
As you know, only opposite-sex couples are currently afforded the ability to sponsor their partners for immigration visas. This discriminatory practice has torn apart many binational families and denied American citizens equal opportunity under the law. The UAFA would correct this by adding “or permanent partner” to sections of the Immigration and Naturalization Act that apply to legally married couples.
Again, thank you for writing to me. Be assured that I am committed to a fair and just immigration policy, and that I will continue to fight for equal rights for all Americans.
Barbara Boxer
United States Senator
Please visit my website at http://boxer.senate.gov
Comment by Clarence — April 4, 2009 @ 12:07 am
I went to the website of Gay and Lesibian center, and i entered UAFA in the search engine of their website, and I did find anyting related to UAFA. This is just one example, if we can not even get the backing of the American gay community, we are reallly out numbered, even in the gay community. I will send the email to Gay and Lesibian center here in Los Angeles about UAFA, and if you live in the area, please do the same thing, at least we should let our fellow gay Americans aware of our situation to gain some support from them.
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 4, 2009 @ 3:32 am
I have an idea! I agree with many of you that we need to get more mainstream media coverage about this issue! Japan just agreed to recognize gay couples for immigration! Where was that in the news? People just don’t get the details about this issue! Why don’t we put some real faces to this issue…a la Harvey Milk, like what they should have done for prop 8 before the election…and make a video that propogates virally around the internet like the prop 8 videos done by the Courage Campaign! We can put our faces on it…couples like mine where I now live in the UK because I had to choose between my partner and my country and I chose to be with my partner! A small video showing our faces, our locations…linked on facebook, blogs…does anyone have a connection with someone who can make such a video like the Courage Campaign that addresses this issue?
Comment by Lisa — April 4, 2009 @ 4:08 am
I went to the websites of major GLBT centers and Stonewall centers about a month ago, and found nothing on UAFA neither. I emailed them and urged them asking for support for this bill. Haven’t heard from them yet. If there is a GLBT center or association in your vicinity, do go in to talk to them or even bring a flyer. We can learn from Obama’s campaign and do some ground work.
Comment by Simon — April 4, 2009 @ 5:14 am
I agree about getting our Gay and Lesbian friends up to par with our situation. Some of the comments on the Tan story seemed to suggest that she should have just gotten married when it was legal in CA. Obviously, they (including the lgbt community) don’t know the whole story. If only it was just that simple.
Comment by bkbzipper — April 4, 2009 @ 5:19 am
Most of the bloggers on the SF Gate don’t have the whole story and they are already making assumtions without know everything. That is one the resaons I posted on this site so that we can help educate people of our situation.
@Chung Cheng Fang you are right when people see the pictures they are ready to discriminate against us. What people don’t understand is that She is a person just like everyone else out there.
Comment by Concerned citizen — April 4, 2009 @ 5:39 am
I read that Senator Diane Feinstein also intervened on this couples behalf to get the deportation delayed. Diane Feinstein is on the Senate Judiciary Committee where UAFA sits. If we can convince Diane Feinstein who is very influential to move this law forward, we might get some progress.
Comment by InExile — April 4, 2009 @ 6:55 am
Hi everybody,
There is a letter on Progressivesecretary.org about UAFA:
http://www.progsec.org/DynMenu/DynMenu.php?Table=lettercontrol&Page=GayImmigration2___Ga
Text of the letter:
Dear: _________________
Gays and lesbians suffer all kinds of discrimination, even in the area of
immigration law. They currently cannot sponsor their foreign-born partners
for legal residency in the U.S.
The Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) now in Congress would
eliminate this immigration law discrimination against U.S. citizens and
permanent residents who are part of a same sex couple and would provide
such couples with the same rights enjoyed by heterosexual couples.
The ability of same-sex couples to use the family immigration system would
come with the same immigration restrictions and enforcement standards
that apply to heterosexual couples. Fraudulent permanent partnerships
would be subjected to the same penalties as fraudulent marriages.
The promotion of family unity has long been an important component of
U.S. immigration policy. I urge the White House to support and Congress to
enact the Uniting American Families Act.
Sincerely yours
Your name and address
Comment by TheHeatIsOn — April 4, 2009 @ 7:24 am
Correction to the post #32. I meant “…I did not find anything related to UAFA….”
Yeah, you guys are right, and thanks for responding to my post. Lots of Americans, including our gay brothers and sisiters do not know how the immigration system works for bi national couples. We need to educate them. Start a blog or something, at least, we need to let our gay brothers and sisters, and even average Americans for that matter know our situations.
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 4, 2009 @ 8:11 am
I just emailed the family service of the Gay and lesbian Center here in Los Angeles. Here is what i wrote to them: “Dear Family services:
My name is Chung Cheng Fang. I am emailing you to help us spread the word of an injustice that most gay Americans are not aware of, and that is the on going federal discrimination against our gay bi national couples who are united by love and divided by the unfairness and discrimination of the federal immigration law. With the passage of Prop 8, we have been fighting to over turn this discriminatory atrocity against the gay community, but do you know there is fraction of gay people in our community who are facing the fear of being torn apart from their gay families and leaving their love ones due to our harsh immigration laws and system from our Federal government? There are About 37000 gay binational couples who are facing the fear of leaving their partners just because the Federal Government does not recognize the same sex partnership and allow the gay American citizens to sponsor there partners so they can obtain their legal status, AKA, permanent residency or green card that will lead to the path of their citizenship so they can legally stay with their partners happily ever after. To fix this injustice, thanks to the NY congressman Jerrold Nadler(D-NY) and senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont(D-VT), they introduced a bill called “Uniting Americans Families Act”(UAFA) in February that will once and for all end this discrimination against gay binational couples who want to stay together in this great country together and live their American dreams. UAFA will allow our gay American brothers and sisters to sponsor their foreign partners to obtain their legal status in the United States. Just like many bi national heterosexual married couples who are able to gain this immigration benefit through the federal government. Our Gay American brothers and sisters have been treated unfairly by our immigration system since 1965, and it is time to end this discrimination so our gay binational couples will be treated fairly as the heterosexual marriage couples. It is time for the federal government to recognize same sex relationship. UAFA is not a bill of gay marriage, but if this bill passes, it will potentially pave the way for gay Americans for equal federal rights and benefits.
I have seen so many sad stories of gay foreign partners having to say good bye to their American partners due to the unfairness and injustice of federal immigration law, and I could be one of the them in the future if this bill failed to pass. Upon the passage of Prop 8 and the possibility of its being overturned by the California Supreme Court, and with the legalization of gay marriage in Iowa, Massachusetts,and Connecticut, it is important to be aware of the fact that gay Americans still don’t have equal rights and protection from the federal government, it is also time for us to go federal in terms of equal rights and benefits. Uniting Americans Families Act will be the first bill that grants the federal right to the gay community in America if passes. Please help spread the world to the Gay community and your friends and family members. Gay community should come together as a whole and continue to fight the injustice and discriminations that hurt us every day. Please help. Thanks. Chung Fang”
It is hard to find the director’s email address or contact info, so please if you are interested, please go to their main webiste:
http://laglc.convio.net/site/PageServer
, and here is the email addrss that I email my word to: familyservices@lagaycenter.org
Please help me spread the word. We need to let our fellow Gay American commuinty know what our problems are, if we don’t have the support from our own community, we will be really outnumbered. Please help,thanks.
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 4, 2009 @ 9:23 am
I think a lot of us have suggested that we should do videos of our stories and post them on YouTube or similar sites. By doing so, people will be able to see the sufferings and separations faced by 40,000 binational couples in the US. I particularly like the “Get to know us first” ad campaign because it shows that LGBT couples are just like ordinary heterosexual couples, if not more loving and faithful. Although the ad campaign is not for the purpose of UAFA or immigration equality, I think by doing videos of similar concept, we could really get the public’s attention on the fact that 40,000 binational LGBT couples are being discriminated in the existing immigration system. I believe that people are afraid of what they do not understand and our goal is to educate them and show them we are just regular people trying to build families of our own and stay together with the person of our choice. Let’s keep writing and contacting the Reps and Senators because they are obviously listening (2 more cosponsors in the House) Don’t be discouraged because you didn’t get a reply from them. It took me awhile before getting a respond from them after I’ve written/faxing/emailing them. So let’s keep the pressure on and get the bill to pass a.s.a.p. Thanks guys!
Comment by Simon M — April 4, 2009 @ 9:32 am
38.I just emailed the family service of the Gay and lesbian Center here in Los Angeles. Here is what i wrote to them: �Dear Family services:
My name is Chung Cheng Fang. I am emailing you to help us spread the word of an injustice that most gay Americans are not aware of, and that is the on going federal discrimination against our gay bi national couples who are united by love and divided by the unfairness and discrimination of the federal immigration law. With the passage of Prop 8, we have been fighting to over turn this discriminatory atrocity against the gay community, but do you know there is fraction of gay people in our community who are facing the fear of being torn apart from their gay families and leaving their love ones due to our harsh immigration laws and system from our Federal government? There are About 37000 gay binational couples who are facing the fear of leaving their partners just because the Federal Government does not recognize the same sex partnership and allow the gay American citizens to sponsor there partners so they can obtain their legal status, AKA, permanent residency or green card that will lead to the path of their citizenship so they can legally stay with their partners happily ever after. To fix this injustice, thanks to the NY congressman Jerrold Nadler(D-NY) and senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont(D-VT), they introduced a bill called �Uniting Americans Families Act�(UAFA) in February that will once and for all end this discrimination against gay binational couples who want to stay together in this great country together and live their American dreams. UAFA will allow our gay American brothers and sisters to sponsor their foreign partners to obtain their legal status in the United States. Just like many bi national heterosexual married couples who are able to gain this immigration benefit through the federal government. Our Gay American brothers and sisters have been treated unfairly by our immigration system since 1965, and it is time to end this discrimination so our gay binational couples will be treated fairly as the heterosexual marriage couples. It is time for the federal government to recognize same sex relationship. UAFA is not a bill of gay marriage, but if this bill passes, it will potentially pave the way for gay Americans for equal federal rights and benefits.
I have seen so many sad stories of gay foreign partners having to say good bye to their American partners due to the unfairness and injustice of federal immigration law, and I could be one of the them in the future if this bill failed to pass. Upon the passage of Prop 8 and the possibility of its being overturned by the California Supreme Court, and with the legalization of gay marriage in Iowa, Massachusetts,and Connecticut, it is important to be aware of the fact that gay Americans still don�t have equal rights and protection from the federal government, it is also time for us to go federal in terms of equal rights and benefits. Uniting Americans Families Act will be the first bill that grants the federal right to the gay community in America if passes. Please help spread the world to the Gay community and your friends and family members. Gay community should come together as a whole and continue to fight the injustice and discriminations that hurt us every day. Please help. Thanks. Chung Fang�
It is hard to find the director�s email address or contact info, so please if you are interested, please go to their main webiste:
http://laglc.convio.net/site/PageServer
, and here is the email addrss that I email my word to: familyservices@lagaycenter.org
Please help me spread the word. We need to let our fellow Gay American commuinty know what our problems are, if we don�t have the support from our own community, we will be really outnumbered. Please help,thanks.
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 4, 2009 @ 9:37 am
I think a lot of the negative feedback you read is less about being gay and more about people not understanding the immigration system at all. Most Americans have NO IDEA that family sponsorship is about the only way that immigrants can obtain a green card or citizenship. People think that all you have to do is fill out proper paperwork, go through the necessary channels and wait a little… and bang, you’re issued a green card. When most Americans hear ‘immigrant’ they think of unsavory criminals crawling across the boarder in the woods and coming to America to commit crimes and abuse the Countries welfare system – why? Because those exceptions are the stories that get the press in the current day environment of 24 hour sensational news. We need to educate people that there are hundreds of thousands of ordinary, educated individuals who truly want to make a life in this country with people that they love in a country that they have come to love for so many reasons. I think the only way to do this is to try to get stories of the hardships of bi-national couples and the fear that they live with, out in the public whether it’s Oprah, Ellen, Larry King, Keith Obelmann… maybe 60 minutes would do something on the Tan story… does anyone know how to contact them with story ideas? How about everyone with stories writing letters to the local newspapers for publication. Any other ideas for getting the stories out to the general public?
Comment by Sandy — April 4, 2009 @ 9:54 am
@Simon,M. and Sandy: Thanks.Indeed we need to keep our eyes on the ball. And ultimately that would be the congressional votes. We need to stay focused and stay strategic. The US map and not our own singular state (mine is NY). Call and email friends, colleagues and friends across the USA. “today Iowa, tomorrow the USA”. But there is another angle/calculation/argument to be developed too I think. And that is the “potential and loss of US productivity” that UAFA passage/failure would mean. If we all leave the USA (UAFA failure), not only the collective value of our work, but also the taxes paid will be lost. On the other hand if our partners come to the USA and begin to work here (UAFA passage), well then not only do we preserve our own productivity and taxes in the USA, but we add all those of our partners. But we will need statistics to state this point and promote this argument. Correct me if I’m wrong, but in my experience and from my perspective, there is probably a section of the congress (republicans?) who pay a lot more attention to those kinds of numbers and those “strengths” than to fundamental human rights. Meanwhile those who support us for the inherent justice of the bill probably won’t mind the gravy either!!
Comment by Joe — April 4, 2009 @ 9:56 am
QUESTION: Is there anyway we could have a page with all the great links we come up with on the blogs, and have them on one page? So we don’t have to hunt through hundreds of blog entries to find them? Like the phone/fax/addresses of Congress/Senate and links to Ellen and Oprah etc. I have a computer full of post-it notes…. And maybe this is already on this site somewhere (I believe it’s in the action kit), but a template letter in Word that we could easily download and use/change to meet our own stories.
Comment by bkbzipper — April 4, 2009 @ 11:40 am
I think the the main excuse or reason for the republicans or anyone who is opposed to UAFA is the immigration fraud. It will be very transparent if that is the reason for them to vote no on it. We need to secure and lock those democratic liberal congressmen and senators, but we also need to persuade them that why would a heterosexual bother to take advantage of UAFA when they can just get married for real and get the benefits from the Immigration and Naturalization Act. No matter how you look at it, the reason or excuse is just lame because UAFA is not about gay marriage, it is about same sex couples federal rights and benefits. I have heard so much straight people saying “I support Civil union, and equal rights for same sex partners, but marriage should be kept as a sanctity between a man and a woman”,,and UAFA is just a bill that was designed to stay away from the controversy of gay marriage. UAFA should’ve been passed years ago, but I am afraid that the republicans and the religious rights will always have an excuse to try to discriminate against us. Am i glad Obama and democrats are in controlled, if McCain/Palin/GOP won, we would not even had had a slight chance. I am being hopeful and scared at the same time…
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 4, 2009 @ 11:54 am
From a White House statement:
“The President respects the decision of the Iowa Supreme Court, and continues to believe that states should make their own decisions when it comes to the issue of marriage. Although President Obama supports civil unions rather than same-sex marriage, he believes that committed gay and lesbian couples should receive equal rights under the law.”
Man, Obama really continues to disappoint me big time. His reply couldn’t be more non-committal if he tried.
Comment by Tim — April 4, 2009 @ 12:15 pm
@Tim: let’s count our blessings. His/staff’s wizardry with words has put him (and keeps him) in the position to help us. The millions of rightist idealogues are incessantly monitoring his every move and every word to find an excuse and opportunity to drop him from their support. They number in the millions if not tens of millions. I sincerely believe that Barack’s heart and mind are on our side. But he navigates a thin high tenuous line and (as Chomsky so comprehensively explains) a single word may make his support crumble and he will come tumbling down. Then we will be much worse off. On the other hand, I hope and pray he doesn’t get egged on into signing something as cruel and mean spirited as the DOMA. So many aspects of Mr. Clinton were admirable, but all fade (to me at least) in the darkness of that act/bill/law.
Comment by Joe — April 4, 2009 @ 12:34 pm
@ bkbzipper: Thanks. Ditto. I’m close to insane trying to keep track of which site, which celebrity, which cause and which movement to engage with from hour to hour. We need an organizational wiz to put “it” all together for us…I can’t even articulate what “it” is but I’ll know “it” when I see it.
Comment by Joe — April 4, 2009 @ 12:36 pm
Guys, you can post all of these things on
http://www.4uafa.com/phpBB3/index.php
There are sections like “Action Alerts”
We can organize all our information there!
Comment by TheHeatIsOn — April 4, 2009 @ 12:46 pm
@Chung CF: I agree. Those hard-core bigots with built in perpetual rationalization mechanisms exist out there. But let’s not spend our finite resources of time and energy trying to understand (or change) those rare peculiar species. Instead, let us go after the hundreds of thousands out there who will go with us more easily and smoothly. Especially if all they need is some enlightenment (as opposed to those rare peculiar species who seem to need at least 10 yrs of intensive psychoanalysis). But then again, the abominable Mr. Fritzl (Austrian incestuous rapist) reversed his hardened position on the strength of a single video. So, it is open to discussion.
Comment by Joe — April 4, 2009 @ 1:00 pm
@ Joe: I hear you my friend and yet, Obama is going to pacify me and many other LGBTers only by guaranteeing:
1) federal recognition of gay marriage or civil partnerships
2) if it has to be civil partnerships, they MUST include all legal rights and protections that marriage brings with it – and I do mean ALL rights, not a single one less. I’m sick and tired of this “equal but separate” nonsense, and if they want to discriminate against us by not calling our unions the same as everybody else’s then at least they can dignify our rights by ensuring that it’s legally identical.
I’d be more approving of Obama’s stealth tactics if that’s what it is if he had spent a bit more time with LGBT friendly church leaders too rather than just the bigots on the Right. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t find Obama’s behaviour on these issues encouraging, especially when he’s kept the company he has in recent months. Anyway, back to UAFA.
Comment by Tim — April 4, 2009 @ 1:06 pm
As happy as I am with the coverage, I totally agree with Chung Cheng Fang, who expressed my thoughts exactly in the post.
The combination of illegal, Filipino and butch is food for bigots and unfortunately it’s distracting from the point, which is equal rights.
Also, an incredible majority of people were ignorant enough to believe that a marriage would have solved their problems.
This shows how important it is to continue educating people. We should take advantage of the current media interest and clarify that there are plenty of families and couples that are not breaking the law, forced to leave the country, living separated, or facing incredible hurdles to stay together.
I’m sure people would have more sympathy for law abiding couples and I think we urgently need this kind of publicity, without the word ‘illegal’, which polarizes opinion.
Let’s keep contacting and cross-posting.
Let’s take advantage of the moment. Don’t let a little bit of negativity get us down, rather learn from it for the future.
Comment by Lee — April 4, 2009 @ 2:37 pm
For those of you who haven’t seen this op-ed by an “anonymous liberal” online today in the NY Times, regarding the momentous Iowa court UNANIMOUS decision on April 3rd, here it is:
“When you take a step back and look at the basic legal argument behind these cases, the correct answer is remarkably clear. So clear, in fact, that I’m quite certain that future generations of lawyers and law students will look at these cases and wonder why it took so long for the courts to reach such an obvious conclusion, particularly in light of the extensive (and directly analogous) case law dealing with miscegenation laws and segregation. Once you accept the premise that there is nothing wrong with being gay (a premise which, I think, the vast majority of people–especially educated people like judges–accept), it becomes nearly impossible to make a principled legal argument in defense of laws that prohibit gay people from being married. It’s just such an obvious and straightforward violation of equal protection.
I’ll go out on a limb and predict that–within 10 years–the U.S. Supreme Court, in an opinion authored by Justice Kennedy, will issue a landmark ruling striking down prohibitions on gay marriage. I also believe that the next Democratic presidential nominee will be unapologetically pro gay marriage, and it’s not inconceivable that at some point during his time in office, President Obama himself will publicly reverse his position on this issue. The political and legal trajectory of this issue is pretty easy to chart out at this point. And when it reaches its logical endpoint, with full marriage equality across the country, we’re all going to look back and wonder why it took so damn long to recognize something so obvious.”
Comment by Joe — April 4, 2009 @ 3:35 pm
@Joe, thanks for that post and by God I hope the man is right.
@Lee, couldn’t agree more that now we seem to have some media attention we need to make it abundantly clear that the vast majority of us are law-abiding, decent citizens. I’m convinced that a combination of videos on youtube and other sites and letter campaigns will get us there.
Comment by Tim — April 4, 2009 @ 4:11 pm
Anyone can post the links to the youtube videos, if there are any? I know that if they got a lots of view count, the media will pay attention to them. Let’s keep watching again and again.
Comment by Simon — April 4, 2009 @ 4:22 pm
@ Simon: Great idea. Lets all choose exactly one good one and bombard it!! Along those lines, I noticed that when I googled “UAFA” 2 months ago, it was 8th or 9th billing in Google, and even asked: “did you mean UEFA?”…..today…all 19 of 20 top entries refer to the UAFA bill!!!! Try it yourselves…google UAFA baby google UAFA!!
Comment by Joe — April 4, 2009 @ 4:35 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRPgBCnLLRk
Comment by kev uk — April 4, 2009 @ 5:02 pm
Hi guys
As far as the media attention goes , how about Nete Berkus who works for Oprah. I mean he is gay and was in a bi-national relationship before. I think Oprah is the key person as far as national publicity to help get the word out not only she is the most powerful woman on TV but educating those straight women or even gay people would really help for our situation and story to be out. Writing or emailing to Oprah is a great way to approach her and we should keep doing it but maybe getting in touch with Nate would be faster way to get to Oprah,
What you think? They have a radio show as well.
Here is the Nate’s fun club website
http://billstevens3.tripod.com/natefanclub/id5.html
Actually the email goes to president of the fan club who is gay too!
I really hope Ellen will mention about UAFA soon on her show. If all the people who are here to check up this blog email Nate, and we would have a great chance to get Oprah on our side.
P.S. I noticed that the number of the comments have decreased lately so guys we need to keep working harder and exchanging the more info and ideas!
Comment by K — April 5, 2009 @ 2:12 am
Have emailed Bill Stevens just now and asked him to urge Nete Berkus and Oprah to do some coverage on their show. I actually wonder if IE and Tan’s lawyer have considered contacting Oprah. This sounds like perfect material for her show.
Comment by Tim — April 5, 2009 @ 3:06 am
No, please. Let’s not put the Tans/Mercados on Oprah.
Haven’t you read the comments on sfgate?
Hardly anyone believes their story. And most don’t bother to imagine what they would do if they found themselves in such a situation.
There are plenty of legal couples out there with compelling stories for Oprah!
I don’t want this to be about saving one woman from deportation.
I want it to be about changing the law for ALL of us.
Comment by TheHeatIsOn — April 5, 2009 @ 5:54 am
Come to think of it, you’re absolutely right, Heat. Wasn’t thinking when I posted this. Just as well I didn’t mention Tan & Mercados in my mail to Stevens. And yes, I did read the SF comments and even posted there myself (mine was number 257, I believe).
Comment by Tim — April 5, 2009 @ 6:14 am
I’ve posted another comment on the SF Gate board:
“Tan & Mercado aside, the vast majority of binational LGBT couples are law-abiding citizens who are separated from each other for the majority of the time and are doing their utmost to get into or staying in the country legally. Imagine how it would feel if your foreign wife or husband can only stay with you if (and it’s a big if) he/she gets a permanent work visa, or if you are already together, he/she has to leave because the current work visa runs out and it can’t be renewed? We abide by the law, we pay our taxes, we contribute to society, we are in long-standing, committed, monogamous relationships and yet the US partner in a same sex relationship cannot sponsor their foreign partner for a Green Card? People assume we have the same rights but we do not. DOMA violates the equal rights & protections clause of the consitution and the UAFA bill would be a long overdue measure to start correcting this gross unfairness.”
Comment by Tim — April 5, 2009 @ 6:38 am
I think it’s important to keep posting there. Some others are continuing to read the many comments and may eventually get the point!
Comment by TheHeatIsOn — April 5, 2009 @ 7:08 am
Again, as bad as it sounds, the Tan/ Mercado story is dangerous for us.
I wonder why the other couples aren’t in the media.
The site http://www.ImEq.us does have a couple of videos, which unfortunately aren’t all on youtube nor in the media, and these are couples who obviously don’t mind the attention. What about them? What is IE doing to draw attention to their stories?
Comment by Lee — April 5, 2009 @ 9:20 am
Folks, in scouring SFgate for the relevant blog (on Jay Mercado and Shirley Tan, which I still can’t find) I serendipitously found this new “burning” issue in Vermont: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/04/02/national/a062735D58.DTL&type=gaylesbian
Pls send/email/inform anyone you know of or from Vermont, to bombard their Congress (esp house of reps) with emails to get an override of the planned veto. The vote may come as soon as Tuesday!! The difference in votes may be as slim as one or two, so every effort counts. In fact, most emails are from out of state but they are trying hard to select only those from Vermont residents/constituents. Thanks.
Comment by Joe — April 5, 2009 @ 9:22 am
@ Joe, someone at the Advocate talkback for the Vermont article from last week said, allegedly there were 8 Dems who voted No but stated they would vote to overturn the threatened veto. That’d be good news if true.
FWIW, folks: my partner and I have pretty much agreed that if by the time the mid-term elections come around, there still is no repeal of DADT, no Matthew Shephard anti-hate crime law and a law that ends LGBT discrimnination in the workplace, that we will almost certainly pack up and go to Europe. The reasoning being if they can’t even move on the best-known LGBT issues because they’ve got 2012 on their mind, then we are not going to put up with this any longer, withdraw our votes from the Dems and live in a European country that gives us full rights and protections.
Comment by Tim — April 5, 2009 @ 9:31 am
@ Lee, Hi Lee I am one of the couples that are on the http://www.ImEq.us site and I also have a video on youtube, I am just doing what I can do to bring attention to our situation! I know I’m only a little drop in the ocean that barely makes a ripple, but enough drops can make a wave.
Comment by kev uk — April 5, 2009 @ 9:39 am
Guys,
What about Michelangelo Signorile? Formerly of The Advocate. He now has a radio show.
mike@signorile.com
http://www.signorile.com/
Comment by TheHeatIsOn — April 5, 2009 @ 10:51 am
I am hoping things will go well for Tan’s family,and I hope she gets to stay,but unfortunately and sadly, I have a feeling she will be deported no matter what because she is illegal, and that is just a plain fact, and no matter how tragic it is. The Federal government won’t have any sympathy whatsover towards her situation. Unless vairous senators and congress people make a big fuss about it and try to help her,it is just hard for them at this point to gain anything. The best that could happen for them is to get another exension of stay, and if they could stay for another year, maybe she will have the chance if UAFA is passed within a year,,The irony is that we can’t really aruge with the system and the laws. Maybe Tan’s family will be a painful reminder that we can longer wait and we should take actions, actions, actions..No just phone calls or emails. We actaully go on the streets like i have been saying all along. Get the America LGTB community on our side, and make sure all the democratic senators and congressmem and congresswomen locked in first since Democratic party is in majority now. Lots of Republicans are going to be against UAFA anyway except those we are a bit mild and who are more bi-partison. Thanks, keep up the good works, folks, and I will try my very best in my power to help out to end this discrimination against us!!
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 5, 2009 @ 1:31 pm
Yes I agree with Fang, the immigration dept in the custom are very tough and no sympathy to the aliens people who enter to US. From my experience, I am from Hong Kong, every time when I entered to the US border, most of the immigration officer are very nasty, asked you many questions, suspected your motive … if they know I have a same sex partner/ spouse in US, I believer they will not let me come. I hate how they treat the aliens.
Comment by Clarence — April 5, 2009 @ 2:39 pm
Also, I believe if Shirley leave US, she may never has a chance to come back unless UAFA passed.
Comment by Clarence — April 5, 2009 @ 2:40 pm
Orlando Sentinel published an article about a local bi-national couple. The comments are just appalling; I can�t believe public opinion regarding this matter is this dire. This makes me lose hope of UAFA ever moving forward and passing.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/orl-loctwoloves04040409apr04,0,5323496.story
Comment by Ben — April 5, 2009 @ 8:12 pm
I agree with Clearance. I m fm Hong Kong too n the immigration officer keep holdoing me in a separate room for questioning my job nature, any plan to stay in USA after my H1-B visa expired. It’s so sneaky for them to do that.
Comment by Kim — April 5, 2009 @ 9:43 pm
The comments on sfgate are really depressing. People are so eager to just look at this as a case about an illegal alien, rather than a case about a family being split apart because our laws forbid it.
Comment by T — April 6, 2009 @ 12:02 am
Hi,
I wanted to post here before, but have frequently felt that my story isn’t of value in the fight for immigration equality, as there are those that feel we would have a better chance of gaining mainstream acceptance if we pose as a gay rights issue, rather than one of immigrant rights, particularly if we distance ourselves from those that are undocumented immigrants. I am the US citizen half of a binational couple. My partner is an undocumented mexican national. We met in the US. My partner has never been here legally. We’ve been together for four plus years. There are those that think that the Tan/Mercado story isn’t the story we should be presenting to the world as a prime example of what a binational couple is, and some even go further to say that Mercado should be more aware of how butch she comes across. Frankly those kinds of messages turn me off to wanting to connect with other binational couples, although I’ve written, faxed, called, and emailed my representatives and congressman. I think if there are 36,000 bn couples in the US, some of us in fact do fit the profile that Tan and Mercado are presenting to the world. Are some of us more media worthy than others? Are we here to fight for the rights of ALL bi-national couples, or just the legal and media presentable ones? This issue intersects immigrant rights and immigration reform too, does it not?
Thanks,
Dave
Comment by dave98112 — April 6, 2009 @ 12:13 am
Dave, I agree with you, but you know what? It has come to a point that the public’s opnions may or may not matter. I have not heard or seen anything on Shirely Tan’s family on any major news networks, so it is a problem already when our stories can’t even be exposed. We don’t have a leader, we are not persistent. I have not seen any protests or maintream media coverage about UAFA, we should keep trying hard to get our stories heard, but until then, we will continuously be ignored by public and maintream media because we are outnumbered. I read those nasty and ignorant posts on SF gate website about Tan’s family the other day, and I realized that no matter how hard we try, we are not going to change their opinions, there are always people who think gays should not exist in the world, and think we are under class people, but for bi-national couples like us, who really cares? Gay American couples certainly are not affected by this injustice, at least they don’t have to worry about being torn apart like Tan’s family. As far as what you were saying about the issue being the immigration rights and reform, I totally understand that, but you have to realize that when it comes to immigration rights. Gay people are just not included, so we just had to go around the bush to come up with something like UAFA, which is not really about gay marriage, but the idea of UAFA is derived from the gay rights, so you can’t really seperate the two, everything is related to human rights and equality. I would say screw the norm’s opinions about us. We try our best at least to get this UAFA bill onto vairious talk shows, and at the same time, we try to get the bill to the Judiciary Committee to be considered. The obvious goal is to get UAFA as much public exposure as we can, and then get it passed eventually. We should not let other factors or things distract us from gettng UAFA passed.
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 6, 2009 @ 10:23 am
I think though it is critical we STOP using the derrogatory language enclustered in the standing immigration laws. Undocumented immigrants, not illegal alliens or whatever. I truly feel that using such words equals using the “f” words to name gay people, or the “N” word for African Americans. We seriously need to disengage from the “traditional” lingo which was created to dehumanize immigrants and make them the scary “other” that comes to invade, and take things away from us.
a new time is coming!!!!
On a more cheerful note, guys! We have all this media attention, we have IOWA and possibly Vermont and New Hampshire! I am telling you all…undocumented and all
Comment by Harrison — April 6, 2009 @ 12:29 pm
I watched the news clip on Youtube. I have to say that we should be more open about how Shirely’s partner looks and act. Every family is different and asking them to fit the stereotype of a lesbian couple is not right.
Someone said about doing a protest or a march to support them, any plans??
Comment by Nick — April 6, 2009 @ 2:36 pm
I agree with you, Nick. I think that it’s wrong to think that we have to censor ourselves, whether it has to do with being too butch, too fey, or if our partner was undocumented. We run the gamut of people who are doing everything they can to stay together in one way or another, but some of us do not have the option of getting a travel visa or work or study visa ever. I think that Tan/Mercado do not need an image consultant, their story just needs to be told more, because there are many of us who are just like them. And we need to be aware of our differences and support and celebrate all our different couples that make up the binational couple population.
Comment by dave98112 — April 6, 2009 @ 5:30 pm
Well said Dave98112! I think that to disclose one’s status is completely up to them, it’s their choice. I feel as though I am asking a gay person to conceal his/her sexuality! How wrong is that. I don’t know. The reality is that there is more than 12 million undocumented immigrants and I am sure many of our fellow bi national couples are in this position unwillingly anyways.
Comment by Harrison — April 6, 2009 @ 8:38 pm
Thanks Harrison! I really think that rather than to be overly concerned with our image, and limit how we are perceived so that others do not confuse us with other issues, i.e. marriage, or immigrant rights, I think that we should step back and realize just how diverse our group really is, and to be supportive of others who, in fact, DO have an undocumented partner, rather than to try to convince the conservative world that we are not like the undocumented immigrants, because guess what? Some of us are! I think that there is room for us to make ourselves known, in all our varied states of legal and nonlegal statuses, and also to be supportive of those other issues, maybe even form coalitions with the gay marriage rights crowd, and the undocumented immigrant rights crowd, rather than to dismiss each group because we assume they are not supportive of our issues. Anyway, that is just my two cents.I think that if you are going to ask binational couples to be more visible, and make more comments, and then step and tell them that they are not the right kind of binational couple that should represent the group, you limit our numbers, and the strength of our voice.
Comment by dave98112 — April 6, 2009 @ 9:47 pm
I agree with you, but I would stay away from the the coalitions of gay marriage. UAFA is not about gay marriage, it is about federal equal rights for gay people and bi national partners. We need to from coalitions with human rights group and try to stay away from the gay marriage because a lot of ignorant people still think marriage is supposed to be bewteen and man and a woman. We need to persudae the members of the judiciary commitee that this is not about gay marriage, this is about basic federal right. Gay marriage will be an exucse for them to vote no on UAFA if they think the passage of it will lead to gay marriage. Regardless of what people think about us, it doens’t really matter, we can get as much support as we can from public, but what is more important and practical is how to convince those 18 senators in the judiciary commitee that UAFA is worth being voted on becuase if we don’t get UAFA to the judiciary commitee, we can forget about everything.
Comment by Chung Cheng Fang — April 7, 2009 @ 6:27 am
Vermont overrides Douglass’s veto and now has same-sex marriage! Can’t even explain how happy I am right now. I know that it doesn’t change our situations but at least it’s foot in the door. @ all the folks who live in Vermont – Please write to the Reps and Senators who voted for marriage equality! Even a simple “thank you so much!” is good enough! Let’s do it guys!
Comment by Simon M — April 7, 2009 @ 9:39 am
Simon M, that is great news! I saw that too! Makes me happy even though it doesn’t help us specifically! I think you hit on what I was trying to say earlier. We can be supportive of other issues like gay marriage, knowing that it doesn’t really help our situation. But I think we do a disservice and underestimate the capability of the public to understand the relationship we have to wanting gay marriage rights and immigrant rights. Plus chances are people who are opposed to gay marriage would be opposed to anything gay anyway. I don’t think we need to stay away from gay marriage, as Chung sees it, because although we are not about gay marriage, getting any sort of reform on gay marriage, like reform on immigration law, we would like to be part of that dialoque as well.
Comment by dave98112 — April 7, 2009 @ 12:52 pm
It will be good, if more gay couples are married. More people will want to fight the federal benefits from the federal government.
Comment by Clarence — April 8, 2009 @ 12:38 am
Has anyone ever suggested to Jay Mercado to go under surgery to change her sex permanently? I heard that once she becomes a man legally, she’ll be able to petition Shirley and she too can become a permanent resident. Just a thought…of course it a moot point since she will need more than 2 weeks to do the abominable change just for that purpose! I don’t think Shirley will get to stay…this really is about staying here illegally and there are millions of people who are here without legal papers and they do get deported eventually.
Comment by bella — April 11, 2009 @ 3:10 am
I disagree that Jay M. should change a bit just for the sake of getting Shirley stay legally.
We are who we are and should embrace and cherish that. The world, the law,… may change, or may not. We should fight for our rights but never give up our true self.
Comment by Simon — April 13, 2009 @ 9:37 am
I’m sorry but bella’s idea is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
Comment by T — April 13, 2009 @ 8:32 pm