the things we say about you
I am at a conference in DC this week working on media messaging with communications staffers from about 100 non-profits advocating for immigration rights.
.
The morning started off with an impressive panel of communications gurus, including veterans from the pro-choice and civil rights movements, that provided wonderful insight on the communication battle in those movements.
.
You all know that Lou Dobbs and company is poisoning the media with their anti-immigration views , well this conference will allow us to start combating that. We hope that we will leave here with an umbrella message that we can use to move the cause forward by changing public opinion and fighting back against anti-immigrant rhetoric.
.
To create our message it is important that we know your views on how we talk about you, the people affected by the current immigration laws
.
What do you think about how we voice the challenges you face?
What kind of message do you think we should be communicating?
.
I would love any feedback you wish to offer.
I wish there was more focus on the economic losses that we are facing. The huge financial burden its putting on our families. Not just those that have the money (if its a stretch) to relocate to other countries, to fly back and forth between where their partner’s live. But those of us that are even lower on the economic scale that have partners that are here on quasi-legal status that are forced to live on almost one salary. How we because our partners are foreign-born, we live well below what our education and careers would suggest and are being left out of those pieces of the American Dream that our peers are achieving: purchasing homes, raising children, saving for retirement or even such indulgences as going on a vacation. Not to sound like sour grapes, because there are plenty of working poor in this country that don’t deserve that either, but the fact that this situation is outside of our control. That there is nothing that we can do to improve our financial stability by legalizing our partners feels so very, very wrong.
Comment by Christopher — May 29, 2008 @ 9:02 am
As marriage equality is unfolding, it important to realize that legally married gay couple exist. With the CA Supreme Court decision and now NY’s decision to recognize same sex marriages from other jurisdictions, a large portion of US citizens have an option to legally marry. I understand the whole DOMA and federal issue problem, but I think that it would be beneficial to show how legally married couples can still be divided because of immigration laws.
Comment by nola — May 29, 2008 @ 9:57 am
Especially with all the recent press about California and NY, I think that the public needs to be informed on a very basic level that state marriage rights are not the same as federal marriage rights. Those of us immersed in the issue tend to forget that our situation has never even crossed most people’s minds (including politically aware gays). People who already support gay marriage and domestic partnership will support UAFA. I just don’t think they even know about it. These people are obviously the ones we need to target. People who oppose gay marriage and civil unions won’t support UAFA either; they aren’t our audience (if they don’t care about lifelong partners not being able to visit each other on their death beds, they aren’t going to care about us). I have a related question: Does Immigration Equality think that there’s more of a chance that UAFA will pass first or that DOMA will be repealed first? I wonder if this consideration is playing into IE’s strategy/agenda.
Comment by Joel — May 29, 2008 @ 12:31 pm
Christopher took the words right out of my mouth. My partner and I are forced to live on my salary and the “American Dream” is unattainable for us, and it’s not for a lack of will, education, or trying….we have to watch EVERY penny that we spend…it’s unfair….
Comment by Anna — May 29, 2008 @ 1:11 pm
I wish the media would talk about us when then talk about gay marriage. the federal lack of recognition is such a problem. the suffering we face everyday just knowing our world can be torn apart by a traffic stop. Knowing we can’t go to the funerals of loved ones, see children born over seas. If the general public knew more about this more of them would be upset. after 7.5 years fighting and living this battle, I feel overlooked and hopless for the future. Even with the great gains the gay rights movment has achieved. I don’t see light at the end of our tunnel. and its very sad
Comment by David — May 29, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
I hate Lou dobbs so much. can sombody tell him that ellis island is closed since he only oposes the illegal portion of immigration. how nice to hide behind that, does he know there is no “legal” way for the poor or working class people that he is fighthing for, to legally immigrate.
Comment by David — May 29, 2008 @ 3:58 pm
You i watched Mccain on Ellen and she asked him about gay marriage and he said he is not comfortable with it, and will leave it to the states. So i was wondering what a stupid man. In my head am thinking what about the federal part of it, the legal immigration??. If i lived in a state that recognizes same sex marriage i would legally marry my girlfirend and file paperwork for her, and be prepared to fight the feds on that grounds that according to my state its ok to get married.
God Help us all.
Comment by Matumbo — May 29, 2008 @ 5:41 pm
Not venting or anything but am watching the news and it has been reported that the children who were forced into esrly marriages from the cult in Texas have been sent back home. Help me understand again two adults who want to get married and live in the US legally cannot while, Men can legally abuse young kids and marry them, talk about morals here and double standards.
Comment by Matumbo — May 29, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
I love this blog, it is great support for us. I know there are 40k of us suffering here. But I always feel so alone in this battle. I know the guys at immigration equality and I am so thankfull to them for helping me 7 years ago to learn just how hopeless this situation really is going to be for me. but to be thankfull we are together. I was so nieve thinking that 245i would come back soon and in a few years everything would be fine. Now I don’t have any hope anymore. I just expect to be let down. that way if things end up passing then I can be happy and supriesed. But the sad thing is i worry all the time about EVERYTHING. immigration, Finace if I die, he looses me and our condo, has to pay the estate taxes. what if we have to leave the country, who will take me with my HIV status. why does this country do this to us. why did i fall in love at first sight almost 8 years ago with somewon with this issue? And I thank god that i fell in love with somwon with this issue, becuase it taught me the meaning of true love for each other, when you really have to fight for your own love. my family loves me but my mother once said maybe i should move out of the coutry beucase I am so angry at what the land of the free does to us.
Comment by David — May 29, 2008 @ 8:40 pm
I would like to see less focus on why it’s bad for the US to lose rich, educated people. It seems that there’s always an argument being made that one reason to pass the UAFA is because rich people who contribute to the economy and have a lot of education are forced to leave the country. While this is a valid argument, it really leaves out those of us that don’t fit this. It isn’t our ability to make money that makes it important for us to be able to stay in the US, it’s that we’re American citizens that deserve the same rights as other American citizens. It shouldn’t matter that I don’t make a lot of money – it doesn’t matter for straight people. I also echo the calls for more education that state marriage rights don’t do anything for us – hell, I live in a state that at least as domestic partnerships and I can’t use them because of being in this situation. Now, even, it’s more difficult because I’m expected to have a “domestic partnership” to legitimize my relationship, but I can’t have one because it could screw up immigration – places that used to have more informal requirements for same-sex couples now require a domestic partnership just like they require a marriage for straight couples. It’s important for people to know this isn’t a solution for everything – especially those people that just say it should be up to the states and not a federal issue. If that’s the case, at least let the federal govt recognize the legal marriages from the states that provide marriage. I also would continue to focus on addressing the fraud issue – for some (homophobic) reason, people always bring up that fraud would increase if gay couples were allowed access to the system. Thanks for all your work on this – I’m in the beginning on planning my move to Canada and I hope this is not a move that people behind me are forced to make.
Comment by tyler — May 30, 2008 @ 8:43 am
Rather than merely concentrating on tugging at the heartstrings, I think it’s most important to present how the current system negatively impacts those whom you are addressing, and how it impacts the “average American”. Don’t try to redefine the “average American” to be too inclusive too soon for their taste. Rather, Put out there the stories about how the loss of professionals and members of the community (US nationals and partners) are robbing the communinity of something. We want to help everyone affected, but let’s change the law first. To do that, we need to market and package effectively. Employee and community testimonials, photos of lipstick lesbians and butch gay guys who fit as closely as possible into the popular definition of what is “normal” is the key. For too many years we have let ourselves be painted with a flamboyant Gay Pride brush, and it is having repercussions that some may not want to admit exist. I know that can seem offensive, but I mean to be as practical as possible. Change the law first, and everyone’s benefit will follow. But changing the law will be impossible unless we make it an attractive alternative to those who have the power to change it.
Comment by Charles — May 30, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
I agree with you, Charles. We need to show people that not all non-straight people are flaming. I’ve been a high school physics teacher for this past year. I teach my students how to use math to solve problems, and I’ve had them do labs and write lab reports. I eventually revealed to them my relationship with a guy from the Philippines. I hope that in addition to learning physics from me, they have also learned that just because a guy is a math/science person who fulfills virtually none of the gay stereotypes out there doesn’t mean he’s straight. It shows the kids that sexual orientation, above all, is really just a matter of which gender(s) we’re attracted to and want to be in relationships with. That said, now that I’ve been laid off due to a poor budget at my school, I figure now is as good a time as any to start looking for a job in Canada. With the current economy in the U.S., that might not be such a bad thing, really. Any luck in finding a job in Canada, Tyler?
Comment by Mattie — May 30, 2008 @ 7:06 pm
Im sick of this country. I am a young man from Scotland that is almost 30 years old and live here with my older American partner who is in his 70’s for two years. We have ensured that I got here legally, obtaining the student visa, but it has been such a burden for both of us as we have spent so much money to keep us together. I don’t know why this country can be so mean towards an older American citizen. He has to pay towards my out of state tuition, which is over six times as much as my classmates, and I can only get a job as a part time college employee, which doesn’t do us any good. This fact sickens us as he has paid taxes in America all his life towards other peoples education. Im thinking of moving back home to the UK with my older guy as I can sponsor him as my partner, but I feel the move might kill him. I hope I can get my Nursing degree here and move to Canada with him soon, that way he can keep his animals, and I will be able to get a work permit and be able to sponsor him. Its disgusting that America doesn’t allow American gay people to sponsor their partners, but allows green card holders to sponsor all their children, and even their parents. Other than his pets, I am all that my old guy has in his life, and its always on our minds that we will need to leave each other soon. I am dissapointed that most other western countries offer gay people the chance to sponsor their loved ones, but this so called free country does not. I hope the next President will be from the democratic party, but I feel that might not make a difference to people like us. I sometimes wish I never met my old guy because of the emotional and financial pressure that we have both been under recently.
Comment by Gerard — June 2, 2008 @ 3:13 am
i sometimes think that with my girlfriend Gerard, then i think, how much i have gained from having her in my life, she filled this hole i had in my heart, she is the other half of me. i wish you the best gerard, im hoping soon the UAFA will come to pass, for all of us.
Comment by pam hermens — June 6, 2008 @ 9:37 am
pam. we all think that for a quick second. why did we find each other. and then you realize what you said. it fills a whole in my being. this person is my life and I am so happy for it. i do hope UAFA happens. I have been fighting for 7 years now
Comment by David — June 8, 2008 @ 5:36 pm